Tag: Christianity

The cure for anxiety, stress and worry!

It always seems the holidays bring on a new level of stress and worry. Afterwards, many experience a different kind of stress as they decide if this year will be the year they finally make “the change”. Some go back to work and it seems everyone waited until after the holidays to bring the problems in. Either way, if you are human, you know some level of stress, worry, or anxiety.

The most famous sermon ever, the “Sermon on the Mount”, is captured in Matthew chapters 5-7. It takes about 15 minutes to read and is filled with simple and deep truths for all people. The Kingdom of God is mentioned eight times in this relatively short sermon. The famous book by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, “The Cost of Discipleship” (Nachfolge), is an excellent exposition of the Sermon on the Mount.

Continue reading “The cure for anxiety, stress and worry!”

2018 Focus – Seek First the Kingdom

In each of our 2017 family meetings we would read Psalm 27. The core of this Psalm is to have a singular focus on seeking God.

For 2018 we will continue our practice of turning to the Bible and seeking God during our family meetings. Our primary focus will be to “seek first the kingdom” from Matthew 6:33. Since this will be the focus for my home, my posts through 2018 will align with this as well. Continue reading “2018 Focus – Seek First the Kingdom”

The book I read every month!

This week I want to share a personal practice that I believe has helped keep my behavior in check, and my mind more focused on the most important things. I have not been perfect at doing this, and I have seen the opposite results at the times I have strayed.

Many years ago I was challenged to read one chapter from the book of Proverbs from the Bible each day. It doesn’t take long…usually less than 5 minutes. It was easy to determine the chapter to read because it was the “proverb of the day”.

See, the book of Proverbs has 31 chapters. This means there is basically a chapter of Proverbs for each day of the month. After a month you have read the book, and can simply start over.

After doing this off and on for several years, it has become a practice I really enjoy. Each time I read a chapter there seems to be a verse or principle I can apply to my life in a very practical way as a husband, father, son, employee, leader, friend or disciple. Somehow, at the right time there is a verse or passage that stands out for me. Sometimes it is right after a situation where I realize I should have handled something differently. Other times it is right before a situation and the verse provided the much needed preparation for the moment.

Here are a few “stand out” verses from yesterdays reading of Proverbs 15 (one of my personal favorite chapters):

  • Verse 1 – A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. 
    • This resonates with every parent. And it is great advice for work, school, and even friendships.
    • A parent of a teenager may paraphrase this verse like: “A door closed gently is good for the relationship.”
  • Verse 22 – Plans are frustrated without consultation, but with many counselors they succeed.
    • For our family, this verse translates to time we spend each week to spend a little time to look at the calendar for the next few weeks to make sure we have everything calendared that we know about at the time.
    • At work I spend a lot of time planning, and then sharing my plans with others to see what they think. This has been very helpful for me to see areas where I totally missed an important step, or where I completely underestimated the amount of time something would take (I am good at this).
  • Verse 31 – the person who listens to life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise.
    • This tells us that the wise people have a mentor, confidant, or friend who will lovingly listen and watch them and give “life-giving” correction and direction.
    • I appreciate these friends in my life who will challenge and encourage me to be a better husband or father, live a life worthy of my calling and purpose, or help me get those negative thoughts out of my head so I can focus on the truth.
    • Conversely, you will find much in Proverbs 15 that speaks about the foolish person who does not accept correction. Not only have I met those people, I have been that person. The good news is…I was able to change. Thank God!

While each passage has much to ponder, I tend to take one verse or so that stands out that day and focus on that for a while.

I encourage you to try this for one month and see how it helps you. Let me know how it goes!

Would you like to make less money?

“Burger Boy” is what they called me. My job was to make sure the meat was ready when the customers ordered sandwiches. I didn’t even make sandwiches for the first several weeks of my new job.

In high school I worked fast food. I still say this was the most fun job I ever had, and the most stressful. I worked at a particular restaurant for five years. In those 5 years I went from “Burger Boy” to the assistant store manager, where the store manager was the only person in the store above me. Most importantly in those five years, I met the girl of my dreams.

I was still working there when I had less than 12 months until our wedding. And I had a problem.

I had to make more money.

I set my eye on getting into the Human Resources (HR) field and the opportunities in fast food at that time were pretty limited. I had no degree, and honestly did not know very much about HR. I was earning an annual salary of $19,500 plus benefits. I also had the pleasure of working at least 50 hours a week closing the store most nights.

A friend worked at one of the large corporations in the area and she helped me get an interview in the accounting department for an entry level position. Interview went well and the offer came in…$19,000 (~3% reduction). To me, it was a no-brainer. Absolutely!

Later in my career I found myself working a job in HR. I was again working well over 50 hours a week. My ability to have successful relationships with family, friends, church, myself, and even my hobbies was diminishing. If I wanted to be a successful dad, husband, or even friend, then I would have to make a decision.

I had to decide what was more important – Success at Work or Success at Home

I chose home! After some soul searching and preparation, I began looking for new opportunities. Similarly, the solution came through a friend. The interview went well, and the offer came back lower than what I was currently making. To me, it was a no-brainer. Absolutely!

In both cases the opportunities outweighed the risk. And both cases turned out great!

Getting to the decision to make a change was not as easy. I needed to be sensitive to whatever that new opportunity would be.

Five key considerations before quitting your current job to go to a new one…especially if you are going to make less money:

  1. Fit – Is this a company you would like to work for, or does this provide cushion while you look for the job you want? Is this a job that you would like to do? Do you want to learn what you need to about the business? Can you add value to your team and the business? Do you like what you know about the culture of the business?
  2. Career – Does this job help you get to where you want to go? In my first example I wanted to go from fast food to HR but took an entry level job in an accounting department. In my interview I told them I wanted to get into HR. Less than 2 years later, an opening came up, and I got that job. My accounting team was excited for me, and appreciative that I had been open with them the whole time about what I wanted to do.
  3. Salary – This is usually the one thing that will almost never reduce as long as you are with a company. If it’s enough to get you started, go for it.
  4. Benefits – In the US there is a mix of offerings that we call “benefits”. Some are required by the government (e.g. social security) and some are not required (e.g. vacation, additional retirement options) allowing businesses to decide how/what they want to provide. Take a good look at both. Example – a company who offers you $100 and matches your 401k at 6% may be a better deal than a company who offers $105 and a 401k match of 3% (if you use the benefit).
  5. Pray – As a Christian, it is important for me to seek God about things in my life. I also listen to friends and mentors. Even if you aren’t a person of faith, I would encourage seeking council in big decisions like this. There is a lot of wisdom in multiple counselors.

Obviously, I didn’t seek a new job to make less money. And I would not encourage you to do that either. But, I would encourage you to look at your situation and determine if the money you are making is worth the sacrifices it takes. Tough times will come and go, so you want to be sure that in the long run you’re able to focus on the most meaningful things of life.

 

God is not all you need

He was sipping his coffee, wrestling with loneliness. A kind hearted, growing Christian, who was finding support in God, and on the verge of giving up on humanity. He didn’t want to go to Church. They were all judgmental hypocrites, who didn’t care about him. His friends had pushed him aside. In his mind, all he had was God, and that was all he needed. He reflected on the old song, “You’re all I want. You’re all I ever needed” I encouraged him to continue growing closer to God in this time. And then, I told him another truth:

Friend, God is not all you need.

He looked at me as if I had blasphemed the Holy Spirit. His eyebrow went up. He must have felt that I didn’t understand. So, he began clarifying that God is all he needs. He needed to pray more, read his bible more. He didn’t need all the problems that come with having other people in his life. They just pull him down. I let him vent. I have been there myself. I get it. Then, I told him again.

Friend, God is not all you need.

Then, I brought him all the way back to the beginning. “Do you remember the first thing that was not good? It’s found in Genesis 2:18.”

Adam had God. For relationship, all Adam had was God. He knew God in ways we may never know in our lifetime. Adam had God. And God said “It is not good for man to be alone.”

My friend responds, “Alone? How was Adam alone. He had God?”

This is the very point God was trying to make.

Our relationship with God does not satisfy our need for relationship with others. We can have God and still be alone. And, that’s not good.

As I look at my journey as a Christian, I believe God has provided three very important things to help me along the way:

1) The Word of God, 2) The Spirit of God, 3) The People of God

Today, the focus is on the last point. Without other people in my life, I cannot imagine what it would be like. I’m not talking about going to Church on Sunday (although I do enjoy that time). I mean real relationships, with friends and family who speak into my life, provide Godly counsel, support me in my struggles, lift me up and encourage me to keep going. Sometimes, I even get to do that for them.

At my church, we say: Life happens in circles, not rows

Church services are great for motivation, encouragement and the wonderful reminder of God’s great love for us. But, they are not great for building life long, meaningful relationships with the people around us. That happens over lunch, dinner, coffee, or through a small home group. That’s where relationships happen.

Since the beginning, God has designed us for relationships.

This week, as you go about your planning, I encourage you to look at the people around you, and see them as a gift from God. Encourage them. Pray for them. Even for that one person you don’t like. Believe it or not, you need them. God knows, it is not good to be alone.

Become a data analyst in four simple steps!

During the most recent election season I would see numerous polls telling me what the population believes. I remember a specific poll that showed a significant portion of the population held a view that I did not hold, and it startled me a bit. So, I looked the analysis up, and found that the poll was of 1,000 people across a three state area in the New England area. I thought to myself, 1,000 people? Is that really a true sample size of the 350+million Americans who have an opinion?

Whether you are looking at political polls, compiling big data, reading a magazine, watching a documentary, or even studying the Bible, I encourage applying these steps to understand the information.

When it comes to data or information analysis, focus on these four steps:

Collection, Interpretation, Application, and Communication

The steps are outlined below with an example of telling time:

  1. Collection – Gathering as much data as necessary to answer – What does the data say?
    • 9:45 pm
  2. Interpretation – The process of reviewing, validating, and even collecting more data, to answer – What does the data mean?
    • Everyone should be in bed in 15 minutes
  3. Application – The result of interpreting the data will lead to a conclusion which will answer – What does the data tell me to do?
    • I need to let everyone know to start getting ready for bed
  4. Communication – The process of translating the collected data to an impacted audience you need to answer – How do I tell people what the data means?
    • Exclaim, “It’s 9:45 people….get ready for bed. Turn off your electronics, brush your teeth, and put on your pajamas!”

Regardless of what you are analyzing the process is the same.

The hardest part of analysis is to simply follow the process.

Each step has it’s own challenges, key points, and implications for skipping the step.

Collection – Too much time collecting data can overwhelm the interpretation process. You must learn to weed out bad or irrelevant data. If you skip this step you are simply making things up.

Interpretation – The more variables there are in the data, the more complicated this process becomes. Too few data points may lead you to a false conclusion. You must identify the key variables, and consider multiple alternatives or ways to apply the information. If you skip this step everything else is simply your opinion and you may never know if you had the right information.

Application – There are always other factors you could not know or predict. Based on what you know, it is important to identify what you believe is the best option.  If you skip this step you have nothing to communicate.

Communication – People will consume and interpret information differently, so there is not a simple answer here. Some will want to see all the data, how you interpreted it, all the alternatives you considered, and why you decided on your application. Others will want the concept and the soundbite. A big risk is to communicate misleading soundbites. You must identify your audience, and the level of information you want them to consume, or that they need to consume. If you skip this step then you are the only person who knows what the data is saying.

Using these steps will not only make you a better analyst, it may also make you question or understand the analytical results you hear from others.

Comment – What other ways do you interpret information?

Productive weeks are like separating oranges

Do you have a lot of messy work weeks? Do e-mails and meetings hinder you from a productive work day?

If so, I recommend an honest review of your work by what I will call the “principle of separation”. It’s like an orange. Separating an orange the right way leaves a beautiful wedge for eating. Separating it the wrong way leaves your hands sticky and everything messy.

Continue reading “Productive weeks are like separating oranges”

Why you will never earn what you are worth

Why you will never earn what you are worth!

My heart was broken after a conversation I had with a young, well paid and respected executive. He was told in school that if he doesn’t double his pay every two years then he is failing at growing his career. For most of his career his pay had doubled at least every two years. What the instructor failed to tell him was what it would cost him. His family suffered greatly.

In that moment I wish the instructor had a different message:

You are more valuable than your paycheck!

Continue reading “Why you will never earn what you are worth”

He made the stars also.

I love the clear sky on a dark night. From our home we can see Orion some of the year. My family can sometimes be found laying on the sidewalk in front of our home looking up at the stars. There is something that happens as I pause and look up at the big dipper, little dipper, north star, and even the planets. Somehow, the problems of this world seem to fade as my mind looks into the universe.

What does the universe have to do with planning our week? Let me give you one thought! Details. Continue reading “He made the stars also.”

The most consistent thing in life!

I love sunsets. The shift from day to night. The end of a productive day. It’s as if all creation is preparing for rest. On Pinterest I have an album where I have pinned some sunset pics others have posted. Check it out!

The most consistent thing in life is change.

Continue reading “The most consistent thing in life!”